After returning back to base on Friday I was starting to get a little exasperated. Or should I say, Exgasperated.....
I went back into Fuengirola on Saturday morning to track down the all elusive 'thingy' ( it's "Corgi" talk) that would connect my pipes,gas bottle and adaptor to the gas regulator in the van. The bus ride into town was a huge disappointment, not nearly as exhilarating as the first one.
Once in town I set about tracking down the shop where I had purchased the other "thingys" on Friday. It was Saturday and quite a few of the shops only worked half a day so I had taken the 10:00am bus thinking it would give me loads of time. Not so... My first mistake was I got off the bus at the wrong stop. Try as I might, I couldn't for the life of me find the bloody place. I went in the direction I thought it was only to find my geographical attributes are similar to my mechanical attributes. Sadly lacking.
On my way, wandering aimlessly round the narrow streets of Fuengirola, stopping at every hardware shop I stumbled across, I had no luck. Each hardware shop I went into answered me in the negative. I've travelled enough to realise now that very often, in fact more regularly than not. When you are in foreign parts and the command of the English language is sparse, if someone doesn't understand you they tend to say 'no'. Knowing this fact, when they said 'no' I challenged them. Trying, in the little Spanish I know to draw a picture and speak louder. It usually works, but not this time.
After a good 90 minutes wandering around I had a thought. I had a receipt, on that receipt was an address, at that address was a lady who could provide me with a piece of milled metal that would enable me to have a Christmas dinner.
I took the receipt out of my backpack and asked the first person I saw. She didn't know where it was. I asked several more and got the same response. I was still walking at this stage, albeit aimlessly. By pure chance I had aimlessly walked to the very street I was looking for. I headed towards the shop. Guess what, it's closed. Fucking typical......
Not one to give up I headed up to a large retail park. I had noticed they had the equivalent of a B and Q there. Worth trying. No luck though, they had everything but the bit I needed. I was about to give up and head back to camp when I came across another hardware shop that sold BBQ's . Worth a shot, while they didn't sell the connectors, this very helpful English lad pointed me in the direction of a gas heating suppliers. I'm now sweating like the proverbial bacon pig. It's a warm day and I've walked miles and miles. I decided to give this place a go and sure enough, they didn't have what I needed either. The chap in the shop did speak English and helpfully told me there are only two places in town who would have the connector and they are both closed on Saturday. I showed him the receipt with the address. "Yes" he said. That's is one of them. With that I headed back to camp. I needed a glass of wine...
While I was in the Scottish highlands with Bill and Katrina a few weeks ago Bill showed me a very useful app for the iPhone and iPad. It's called 'maps with Me' using the inbuilt GPS in your phone and iPad it can pinpoint where you are, by downloading the country maps it gives you a street level view. The best bit, you don't have to be connected to the internet. Ideal for travellers overseas as it doesn't incur data roaming charges. During my daily 2.5km swim it occurred to me. I sure wouldn't get lost on Monday when I did my third trip into town.
Sunday was a leisurely day, breakfast of eggs on toast, a wander to the supermarket to replenish the basics. Wine and more wine. I thought it prudent not to buy the goodies for my Christmas dinner just yet, unless you can cook turkey and all the trimmings in a toaster, I'll be living on roots and berries.
A relaxing Sunday evening watching The Man who fell to Earth on DVD and a couple of glasses of wine. I need to watch the wine consumption. The wine glasses I have are huge and very deceptive. Pouring my third glass I realised I'd downed a whole bottle. Fuck it, it's Christmas and I'm on me holidays.
Monday morning, up at 8:00am. A cup of coffee and then off into town. Again, a pleasant trip with no dramatic and erratic driving. With the aid of my iphone I went directly to the gas shop and guess what. ? Got what I needed.. Not before I first got a 'no' and my heart dropped into my boots. Drawing and talking louder did the trick. Ding Dong. Christmas dinner is on again...
As I'm walking out of the shop I remembered I needed a flat screwdriver to tighten up the jubilee clips, oh and to be on the safe side, a couple of spare jubilee clips. I would walk up to the retail park and get them from B and Q (the Spanish version)
Having got what I wanted ( the day is turning out good!) I popped into Iceland. The sign outside promised 'English' groceries. I filled my bloody boots. Paxo stuffing, pigs in blankets, a pork pie and a turkey roast. I would pop to the local supermarket in the morning for the rest of the stuff. I hope I'm not being previous and I can rig up this bloody gas system....
There is only one thing worse than and excitable bus driver and that's a stressed out incompetent one. At the bus station I got my ticket and went looking for the bus. It appeared that the usual 'bendy bus' was broken and a replacement was brought. The only problem was the driver appeared not to know how it worked. The fact that he did not know how to set the destination sign on the front of the bus should have been a clue. As he weaved his way through the little streets of Fuengirola, the rear doors kept opening and closing.
Once on the auto via he had similar problems. You could see he was getting more and more stressed. His driving skills also appeared to be a bit suspect, narrowly missing a number of cars as he pulled out. A couple of stops from camp he picked up a lady, to be fair she looked a bit of a fuck wit. She got on the bus muttering in Spanish, paid her fare and walked down the bus. As the bus pulled off she screamed to the driver to stop, pointing behind her, it was. just as he joined the carriageway of the motorway. Everyone turned to look. Sat there by the side of the road was her suitcase.
Incredibly he stopped and started to reverse. A rather helpful Somalian chap jumped off the bus, ran back down the motorway, picked up her case and loaded it onto the bus. The driver stuck in first gear and carried on as if nothing had happened.
The Somalian was duly thanked by the woman and his mates. As I got off the bus I was sorely tempered to ask if they had any dodgy. DVD's. I'm running out! Where are those Somalian dodgy DVD salesman when you want them?
Back at camp I got out my screwdriver all the bits and bobs and I'm now up and working with a fully operational hob cooker. It's been a good day so far.
I shall now be mostly cooking myself a nice meal and getting shit faced. If this turns out badly and I go up like a new year's rocket. You read it here first.....and remember. Don't mess with gas or electricity. They can kill you.
By the way, I'm not really corgi registered ;-)
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